Finding the Soy Sauce

A Story of Subtle Messages, Deep Listening & Self-Trust

My partner is a potato person.

That is to say: his day job is physically demanding (construction), so he likes to carb load at dinner time. 

I do not. (Super jealous of his speedy metabolism over here).

But on occasion we’ll mix it up and share some rice with our evening meal. Which, from potato guy’s perspective, requires soy sauce.

And not the light-weight, low sodium Tamari from the fridge. No no. Dinner Rice calls for the super salty stuff. You know: in the takeout packets. 

Of which there is always a secret stash.

“Are we out of soy sauce?” was the call from the kitchen that signalled the search was on.

It had been a few months so my memory was hazy. I went to ‘the drawer’ where the errant sauce should have been, but, alas, no packets.

This launched an all-out, check every cupboard, double back through the fridge, earnest hunt. 

Nothing.

And throughout this entire process my search companion, not normally a big talker, had carried on a seemingly innocuous stream of commentary that included statements like,

“We must have used it up last time.”

“I don’t see it anywhere.”

“I guess we don’t have any.”

As my partner went to make the cupboard rounds a third time, it suddenly clicked.

In his generous attempt to seem easy-going, the frequency of his ‘no soy sauce here’ language had actually gotten in the way of us locating the packets.

His negating talk acted just like radio signal interference: I couldn’t hear my own knowing.

Hang on a second, I said holding up my hand.

We listened. Sweet silence. And then, clarity.

I went straight to the original drawer, dug a little deeper and, voila!

Dinner Rice was saved.

But of course this isn’t a story about flavour preferences for dinner carbs.

It’s actually about fully feeling frequency in this transformational time we’ve all entered. 

The awareness of the energetic interference really stuck — being sidelined by throw-away phrases seemed like so much nothing, and yet, ended up being everything. Being sidelined got in the way of listening for guidance from the part of me that always knows.

And just like that: self-doubt set in.

Because the trust between our everyday self and the part of us that always knows is like the trust in any relationship. It wants attention, honouring, care.

Yet most of the time our daily habits undermine that trust, eradicating the seed before it gets properly planted. We ignore the subtle nudge, dampen the quiet voice inside, push away that tingly feeling at the back of the neck.

There are so many ways in which we’ve been trained to not trust ourselves.

And so many ways we can begin to regain that self-trust. It’s all a matter of practice.

Here are some of our favourite Transformational Tools that are surprisingly simple to implement into your day, yet pack a powerful punch when it comes to reconnecting to your inner knowing and boosting that self-trust quotient.

Get Quiet 

When we think of meditation, often what comes to mind is sitting still. And while stillness is helpful, some people actually feel better while moving — swimming, Yoga flow and forest walking are good examples. So even more valuable for reconnecting to that guidance within is noise reduction. 

Computer alerts, phone calls, news reports, videos, music, machines, vehicles: our culture is so noisy! It can be very hard to hear those subtle messages in the midst of all that noise.

Take a minute at least once daily to intentionally surround yourself with quiet. That’s it. There’s nothing to do per se. Just practice being in The Quiet.

Be Present

A couple of years ago we created a December Gift Guide full of simple ideas from our InnerWisdom teachers to help keep us sane over the holiday season. Mindfulness Teacher and Psychotherapist Anne Findlay’s reminder that month was to slow down and be present to what is immediately in front of you: 

Fold the towel. Chop the carrots. Receive each moment fully. 

Along with the noise of our society comes the constant striving, the busy-ness, the hustle. It’s challenging to receive that inner guidance if we’re not making ourselves available to it. This simple practice is less about changing what you’re doing and more about shifting how you’re being in any given moment.

Just Notice

The ultimate intention with any practice is integration — in this case embodying self-trust more fully. 

A basic and beautiful part of increasing somatic awareness is to capture a pocket of time, even a minute or two, stop everything else, and just notice.

The practice of just noticing is fundamental to self-trust because it leads to greater self-awareness, and the capacity to learn, know and trust your own inner vocabulary. Gaining self-awareness from just noticing may lead to stopping sooner, resting deeper, eating less (or more), or just hearing your inner signals more clearly. 

Play with these simple practices and see how they work to support your deep listening and self-trust.