Becoming Receptive

Over-giving is a thing.

It's so easy for sensitive, empathetic folks to fall into the trap of giving too much. In part because we care so deeply. Plus, we're often praised for self-sacrifice, even when it leaves us totally depleted.

But.

There's a shadow side to our excessive generosity too. And it turns out that the roots of our over-giving pattern are the same as what drives some people to be 'takers'.

We all recognize takers – those who consistently prioritize their own interests without regard for the impact their choices have on others. They often lack empathy or have a sense of entitlement.

And yet, while over-givers exhibit very different behaviours to takers, they also share a common underlying belief around a particular kind of scarcity that drives those unhelpful behaviours. It’s a lack of self-worth.

Working with energetic blocks around this scarcity belief, two distinct trapped emotions often come up to be released: worthless and unworthy. Worthless is the feeling that we have no value or use to others. Unworthy is the sense that we are essentially undeserving – of respect, care, attention, acknowledgement.

Unworthy can drive us to give beyond our capacity to give, while also keeping us from fully welcoming-in the goodness that is inherently ours to receive as sacred sentient beings in this world.

Becoming receptive is all about finding greater balance with that natural reciprocity by doing less and allowing more.

Consider these 8 practical strategies that over-givers can use to open to allowing, and reconnect with true reciprocity:

1. Observe patterns of giving and receiving. Consider when, where and how you overextend yourself or neglect your own needs. What are your triggers?
2. Cultivate self-awareness of your motivations for over-giving. Are you seeking attention, validation or approval through your acts of excessive generosity?
3. Set clear boundaries around your time, attention, caretaking or resources; identify your limits, respect them for yourself and communicate them clearly to others.
4. Get comfortable with temporary discomfort so you can offer a firm, adult ‘no’, even if it doesn’t feel good at first, or you worry about disappointing others.
5. Let go of guilt— assert your needs and preferences in relationships without feeling obligated to please others, and practice saying no without apology or excessive explanation.
6. Prioritize self-care that nurtures your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Protect opportunities for rest, rejuvenation, creative expression and play to prevent exhaustion and resentment. Remember that in part, taking care of yourself enables you to be more present in supporting others.
7. Allow yourself to receive support, compliments, and acts of kindness from others without feeling indebted or uncomfortable.
8. Nurture an attitude of gratitude to help you appreciate opportunities to receive the simplest gifts life offers each day. 

Want more support for your self-worth?

Get the Becoming Receptive guided practice with our new Conscious Affluence program.

Use this coupon code to enjoy $10 off early-bird registration: CAQUIZ10